The Allure of PeptoHaus

Das PeptoHaus

Today I met up with Paul on video chat at the usual hour, knowing that I would be getting my daily Apartment Hunt Briefing.  Right off the bat, Paul sent me an e-mail with this picture of the apartment he visited today with the caption, "Isn't it pretty?"

I just laughed right out loud and said, "Not on your life or my life or our nonexistent dog's life are we going to live in a Pepto-colored building for two years."  Because, you know, I thought he was being sarcastic with the photo caption.  Actually, he probably was being sarcastic because, you have to admit, this is probably the most frightening building facade you or I have ever seen on the planet.


So, I was assuming that his choice of sending me this picture first was a sign that this apartment was going to be a complete no-go and that my lunch hour would be spent happily yukking it up about how freakishly frightening a place it was in total--like it was a commune, or that all the walls inside were painted like kaleidoscopes, or that the only Mariachi band in Germany lived there and played trumpets all night long, or something.

Turns out, I think Paul's strategy was to show me the worst part first, and then gradually reveal awesome and awesomer facts about the available apartment as he went along--like a g-chat dance of the seven veils, but much more architectural than scandalous.

Turns out that anything is pretty much better than pepto-facades, but these facts were actually legit in the awesome department.

Fact #1:  The apartment is on the top floor.  Yes, it means stairs.  But it also means more heat in the winter, better sunlight, and no neighbors above us.

Fact #2: It's only €440 a month, including heat and water.  Also, it's probably the cheapest place we've seen per square meter.   It's smaller or close to the same size as our little place in Oregon, but it's also 10 square meters larger than any of the other apartments we've been considering.  That may not sound like a lot of space, but it IS when you're talking this small already.  Also, the fact that no German building has closets, ever, makes 10 square meters more seem like a gift from the gods.


Fact #3:  There's a balcony and a resident's only park/courtyard.  Yes.  Growing things made possible.  I will live!

Fact #4:  It's a five minute walk from two pretty, public parks, a ten-fifteen minute walk to work, and a twenty minute walk to the city center.  Not bad.

Lindenpark.  Rather lovely, I'd say.

Fact #5 (the greatest fact of all!):  The current renter wants to sell practically all her furniture!!  You may not understand the significance of this opportunity.  Let me break it down for you:

In Germany, when you rent an apartment, you literally start with nothing.  No lights (none.  zero.).  No kitchen or bathroom cabinetry, no stove, no fridge, no shelves, no nothin'.  Just bare walls, hook-ups, and darkness...and sadness.    And many many trips to Ikea and secondhand stores.  And many rentals of vans to move things like stoves and fridges.  And many, many flights of stairs...

AND SO, if someone who lives in a pretty nice little apartment (though unfortunately in the PeptoHaus) offers you a chance to not have to shop for cheap stoves  or have to move them and at a pretty decent price that includes a washing machine, a dishwasher (what?!  I don't know if I'll remember how to use one of those things...), an entire kitchen (stove, nice cabinets, refrigerator, oven, shelves, custom-built-for-Germany recycling bins), a table, bookshelves, wardrobes, desks, chairs, end tables, and bathroom cabinets for €1400?!  And all this stuff is custom built, practically new, and already on the top floor?!

Well...suddenly that pepto-pink facade starts lookin' real good, I'll tell you what.

Paul's going to apply for the place on Thursday and we're hoping that our offer to buy all the furniture will make us stand out against other applicants who are probably German and therefore probably have a lot of their own stuff already...  We'll see what happens.

We may very well be The Hunns of PeptoHaus in the near future.  Here's hopin'.  We'll keep you posted.