Your Fashion Guru with a Prophecy

I wasn't always this trendy

Unfashionable Heidi is unfashionable.  So they say.

But I have a sure-fire way for me to predict what the latest trend is going to be in the states come next fall or even Spring 2013 (depending on where you live).  It's the same sure-fire way I predicted ballet flats and skinny jeans way back in 2004.

Step 1: Live in Europe.
Step 2: Observe.
Step 3: Pick out the things that a minority of "put together" people are wearing that look completely and utterly ridiculous to you.
Step 4: Tell everyone in the states (who will no doubt not believe you at first) that this is the next best thing.

See, believe it or not, I was in London when Mango and Zara and the boutique shops in Chelsea were selling their, as I called them from my mother's vocabulary, "peg-leg jeans" and flimsy-lookin' metallic and brightly colored ballet flats.  I thought it was the most horrifically confusing look anyone had ever put together.

"Who wears bright blue shoes with weird elasticky tops for heaven's sake?!" I thought, dweebishly.

I knew that I would feel like a dweebish dork from nerdland trying to pull it off (and that's the ticket right there.  When I say "I will look like a dweeb" that's your cue to go and buy that thing right at this very moment).

Because, you see, 2004 was the era of boot-cut jeans, long levi skirts, dainty versions of sneakers, and brown-leather cloggy boots.  I could pull that off because everyone else already had!  Safe.  I'm good at safe.

The skinny jeans and the ballet flats I just couldn't get behind in 2004 because it was, you know, risky.   BUT, in a fit of complete Bacchanalian insanity ("I'm in Europe I'm going to be craaaazzyyy!"), I actually bought and brought home a pair of black, beaded ballet flats from Europe and lo and behold, they became the coolest thing I ever owned within three months.

People stopped me on the street to ask me where I got them.  I was, like, straight outta the Utah version of The Sartorialist. (is that an oxymoron?)   Superstaaaaar!

So, I'm here to prophesy the next big American trend.  You doubty doubters may doubt, but I'm telling you. This is a thing!  It is a thing that my friend Geraldine from France is wearing and GERALDINE is from FRANCE you hear me?  

Ready?  Here it is!  Straight from the Zara's mouth:

Yeup.

Something that looks very, very much like a men's dress shoe is the next thing over there, guys.

I'm so serious.  I'm so deadly serious.

And you wear them with skinny jeans, please.  Or even a skirt in the summer if ya like.    Oh, and don't show sock.  That is not acceptable.

I know.  I see this and I think
"I WILL LOOK LIKE A DWEEB!"
(really loud.  Like a really, really loud scream.)
But.  That's your cue, people.
(zara.com)

I have Prophesied.  Go in Peace.
(from rockstardiaries)