The Hunns Go Shopping

The best way to spell "Fish."  They just throw in
c's wherever they wisch, it seems.

I was thinking the other day about how this blog isn't exactly representative of what usually goes on here in the Rostocker* garret we call home.  If you scroll back a little it sort of looks like all we do is train-off to exotic locations and do things like eat wild boar and walk a lot.  I mean, we do that.  Just, not all the time.  I forget that the things we do that are "everyday" here, are actually pretty exotic in their own right.

So, I'm turning a new leaf here.  And I'm gonna tell you all sorts of crazy things about, wait for it, grocery shopping.

First off, you need to bring bags.  Or a really big purse.  Or a backpack.  Because they aren't going to be giving you paper or plastic or pity when you get through the checkout with a giant pile of canned tomatoes and a panicked look on your face.  I learned this way back in May when I bought 23 chocolate bars for presents and had to carry them out in teetering towers after I stood expectantly at the end of the register waiting for some sort of sack for what felt like 30 years.    So, let this be a lesson.  You buy it, you pack it out.

Second, you have to "pay" to use a cart.  I think this idea is brilliant.  You need a euro coin which, when you put it into a little slot on the cart,  releases it from its cage ("release the wild caaaaaart!" I say in my best circus ringmaster voice).  Then, when you're done shopping, you take your cart back to the cage and if you nest it correctly into the cart in front your euro pops out.  Yes!  Germany: Incentives for Keeping Everything "Just So."

Or maybe, "Germany: An OCD Paradise."

[I assume it was quite the sight to see me trying to calmly, yet confidently** pry/yank/shake a cart loose the first time though.  It's not like there are clear instructions in English posted about that sort of thing, you know.  It's kind of at a "Well, duh!" status here, I think, so of course they wouldn't.]

Third, let's talk about the food.  I'm just going to use a few examples from our most recent excursion today since I could never remember all the "huh, interesting"s I've had over the past month and a half (it feels like I've been here so much longer!)

You know, I never knew how dependent our diet was on Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing till we moved here.     Ranch dressing...kind of non-existent.    We were actually really excited to find Thousand Islands dressing today because we've been missing Reubens, though.

One other thing, nothing really comes in plastic containers here except for some drinks.  Food is always in glass, cans, or waxy cardboard (sometimes in unexpected packaging--like alfredo sauce in a box).  I like the heft of pulling out my big, glass salad dressing bottle from the fridge--it's like when you'd go to old-school diners that actually still had glass ketchup bottles.  It's homey--vintagey.

The heft of carrying it all the way home along with my big, glass bottles of sauerkraut, mayo, jam, and applesauce isn't as nice though.  But, it's making me super buff, so we've made peace.  (Plus, throwing glass away here is kind of fun--but I'm saving that for the "taking out your garbage in Germany" post).

Moving on.  I included our new interesting food: knödel.  Imagine mashed potatoes, but more dumplingy and rounded into big ol' balls (sorry Dani).  Then put a piece of toast (you heard me. toast.) in the middle.  There you go.  They're totally weird, but great with gravy.  Like pretty much everything in the world.

And finally, I want to introduce you to my favorite brand here: Milka.  They make aaaaaaall sorts of chocolate bars--air-pocket filled bars, cream filled, hazelnut, unidentified-German-berry, etc.  I bought this one because it was on sale and made me laugh.  The "flavor" is called "Cow Spots."  ::love::  I think I've averaged about one of these bars every other day.  I'm developing a dependency but I don't care leavemealone!

Wait, Wait, I'm almost finished!  And there's a big surprise at the end!

I don't think I need to go into how big preserved meats are in Germany.  Let's just say that, you know how there's a section in American stores for chicken?   Yeah, imagine something about that size, but just for salami.  Like, tens, nay, hundreds of kinds of salami.

We bought this kind today to try out.  It's a variety called "French Baguette."  We think it's because it's all oblong-shaped.  I just got it because it was the weirdest looking one of the bunch.  Looks good, doesn't it?

And for our finale!

We also visited the cheese quarter of the store.  Yes, quarter.  I have seen cheeses Dr. Seuss could not even imagine.  Someday I'm going to get the guts to try the neon pink and neon green cheeses.  But, for today, the cheese I wanted to try the most was:

Heidi Alp Cheese!  From Switzerland, no less.
My Very Own Cheese! (I hope its edible!)

There's a lot more I could tell you about--like how cheap bread is, or how there's 15 million varieties of this spreadable cheese stuff that we eat on toast, or how the Fisch and Fleisch (Meat) section is preeeeeeety amazing looking (care for some liver bits and carrot floating around in some aspic?).  But I think this is way long enough already.

Also, I can't really top cheese that's named after myself.

Seriously.

*Rostocker.  Not Rostockian or Rostockish.  I've asked the student experts.

** "Calm, yet confident" is the phrase I repeat to myself whenever I have to go do anything that might end up with a German speaking German to me.  Especially when a German might suddenly and unexpectedly speak German to me--like, at a grocery store, for example.  That fa-reaks me out sometimes.