Soy Curls and Snow

 

I took a whole day off today, on a day when the kids had school.  Practically unprecedented.  I spent the morning crossing off a long, long list of things that had been hovering over me for weeks.  More pine shavings for the chickens, calling a long list of doctors offices for all the new things I have to keep up with for myself, pick up book on hold at library, get dry cleaning, buy sleds (because it's finally snowing!  Real snowing!) but the good ones that inflate and not plastic ones that break, etc.

One thing was to officially register Hadrian for public school.  I thought that was something I needed to do in February because so far at the private preschools we had to claim slots in Janurary/February.  But apparently I came into that office like a total weirdo trying to register my kid a full 7 months in advance of the next school year.  

It was fine though.  The reception ladies were super nice about it after getting over their confusion.  

Also I always expect people to get as excited as I do about Hadrian's Danish birth certificate and U.S. Consular certificate but apparently not?  But they are so interesting!  The Consular certificate is legitimately bonkers though - there's a rainbow-motif liberty bell background, a hologram, gold leaf eagle, no fewer than 5 separate long identification numbers (unlabeled), a bar code, that intricate filigree borderwork you only see on $100+ bills, a watermark, 4 different fonts, embossed seal, I could go on.  Meanwhile, the Danish certificate is just one font, black ink, on a typical (only slightly nicer than everyday-printer) cream piece of paper.  Just text.  And the signature of the kommune priest.  I feel like this says a lot about comparing the two countries and cultures and their levels of trust?

The nice school ladies also informed me that we're first on the waiting list for the Chinese Immersion program.  Which is very good news (meget gode nyheder/好消息/buenas noticias/sehr gute Nachrichten)!!!!

Mid-day I got to be a field-trip parent, for the first time in my life, to the Aquarium.  It was a good time with the 4-year-olds.  But beyond getting to hold Ansel's hand for two hours in a row, perhaps the best thing to come out of it was meeting another parent who is a working mom (like me), who drives an electric car (like we want to), and is a happy vegetarian (like Paul is trying to become).  Also helps that she and I seem to have a similar personality too.  I was happy to think I may have found a nice, good, new friend here in Utah.  And also learned about something called "soy curls".  

And then in the afternoon I took our new sleds and the boys out to a nearby park and we got to just play for hours.  I haven't felt able to do that really for so long.  We were all just so happy.  And Ansel is surprisingly fearless on a hill - which is unexpected coming from the kid who thinks changing his shirt is just too much sometimes.     

Fastelavn

 It's been a couple weeks.  I haven't had too much heart to write about much.  I'll say that I spent a week thinking I had a 80% chance of having cancer and then found out I didn't.  And both Paul and I hugged each other on the couch and cried for a good long while as soon as I was told.

I still will probably have some radiation treatment - but it can be a lot less invasive and much more targeted now.  I still will most likely have to have my entire thyroid removed in the next year or so.  We still won't have any more children.

It's still very sad and hard.  I think it will always be?

But strangely the last few days I haven't thought as much about all of that because we found out Hadrian did not get into the Chinese Immersion program at our public school - a thing that I didn't think was possible?  And it's really thrown me because I had built an entire life and community and sense of specialness/belonging for Hadrian, in my mind, around that program.  I'm going to do anything I can to try and get him in next year (if that's even possible??) but I'm also trying to come to terms with it.  Seems to be the theme of my life the last month.

I asked him at dinner today if he would be ok still going to a new school even if he didn't get to learn Chinese and he said, "Oh...I will just be really sad..."  Later, before bed, I got down on his level and looked him in the eyes and said, "Hadrian.  I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you can have everything you deserve.  I'm going to try my hardest. I promise."  He got big, teary eyes and flung his arms around my neck saying, "I know, mom.  And I will give you all my Valentine's candy."

Tonight my friend Maren brought us fastelavnsboller, made with her own strawberry freezer jam and prodigious baking skills.  It reminded me of moving to Denmark in early February and those being one of the first pastries we tried, at Wendorff (the bakery that became our bakery).  

Fastelavn, if I'm remembering right, was a time to find joy before a season of loss -- also it was a time to stick a cat in a barrel and then use sticks to smash it out, but that's neither here nor there.  Anyway, it seems kind of like the beginning of a season of some loss for me right now, so I'm happy to have these boller to remind me of garden strawberries and wonderful memories.

(ALSO I just realized that my last dr. appt and that last post all happened on the 4th WEDNESDAY of 2021.  Freaking Wednesdays...)