Keeping It Classy in Denmark

Dandy crossing- top hats and canes required

Or, a post that could be titled "and now for something completely different."  Hooray!  Something not Italian! (Wait...that sounds weird.  Italy is always awesome)

We had a chance to go on an overnight trip to Denmark this last weekend for a price of around one euro and cheapness, so, ever interested in being able to say annoying statistics like, "I've been to four countries in four weeks," I was all in.

Here is my thesis (if you only want to scroll through the images and not read the rest):

Denmark is a place to live more than a place to visit, but if I had to give it a score for livability from 1 to 10 (10 being awesome)?  I'd probably give it...12?  Maybe 25.

Additionally, I'm glad I went because I had no mental stereotype to work from for Denmark.  If you said, "France" then I could think of "France" or "The French" in a way that was probably completely untrue, but allowed me to at least have something to start with.  Denmark?  Blank slate.  There was a period in my life (until around 48 hours ago) when I couldn't say for certain whether Denmark was the same place as Holland or the Netherlands or Belgium.  But, since that delusion was cruelly taken away from me while on the ferry boat (So....no tulips?) I had no idea what to expect.

Except vikings.  I knew about the vikings.

We were headed to a relatively smallish city named Odense on the island of Fyn, which are pronounced something like "Oensu"/"Ounse"/"Ousense" and "Fn" respectively (as if the words just sort of fall out of your mouth suddenly and with as little effort as is possible, kind of like drool).  I chose to refer to the city as "Kentucky" since that is what Google Translate told me.



One of the things that startled me most on the trip was the superhuman ease in which everyone could switch at will between German, Danish, and perfect English.  Subsequently, the only Danish I learned was what I assumed to be "Hello" (something that sounded like a really casual Hey! Hey! or Hi!) and "Thank you" (Tak!) since it was written on all the garbage cans.

Kentucky is famous for exactly one thing--it's the birthplace of Hans Christian Anderson.  Which is really cool and probably accounts for how many ducklings and swans we saw waddling around.  And all the awesome playgrounds.

With Hans

I also found a mysterious tree that had hundreds of pacifiers hanging from branches.  Initial reaction: creepy   Stephen-King-book-idea tree, especially since it happened to be right next to the city's (very large, beautiful) cemetery.  [Side note: Cemetery = Kirkegaard.  So remember that when you read philosophy--seems appropriate.]   

Kentucky's Suttatrae, est. 1996

It wasn't in the cemetery though, so I personally vetoed Paul's guess that every pacifier represented a dead baby.  Also, Denmark has a remarkable healthcare system so...  

Turns out that these trees are a Danish (or even Scandanavian?) tradition called Suttatrae.  When it's time for your baby to lose their pacifier (or "plug"), then you bring them to the Suttatrae where they get to hang it up on the tree to say goodbye and then be rewarded with a present for their bravery.

Waaaaay less creepy than Paul's idea.

Other impressions of Denmark?  Well, the only bummer in my mind is the fact that food is so incredibly expensive.  That the money is still in Krone and involved a complicated exchange calculation (1 euro to 7.5 Krone except when you carry the one or something), well, it didn't help.

As an example, we ate one meal at a cheapy restaurant where we shared one burrito, a side of nachos, and two glasses of tap water.  The bill?


$40!


I am not even joking.  NOT even joking.  


The price of food is probably my number one reason why it would be better to live there rather than visit--at least when you live there you get to enjoy higher salaries so you can, you know, eat (highest minimum wage in the world!).  


Didn't see any vikings; did see that Kentucky has a viking ship in the harbor though.  Didn't see any Great Danes, but did see that there was about 200% less dog poop in the parks.  Didn't see any graffiti.  Did see the bones of St. Canute.  Didn't see any pickled fish.  Did see a lot of bikes.


Finally, I couldn't visit Denmark without eating a Danish...

So, you know, I win.